'Twas the week before Christmas,

'Twas the week before Christmas, when all thro' Boot Camp
Not a person missed workouts, because they cant

The running shoes we placed by the front door with care,
In hopes that no cones on the field would be there;

The Bootcampers were nestled all snug in their beds,
when the alarm signaled time to lift their heads,

And Kaffee in her Volvo, and Irene grabbing her cap,
We all left our houses to meet at the track —

When out on the parking lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the track to see what was the matter.

around the corner I flew like a flash,
Tore up the driveway, almost busted my ass.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a thin fit man, and eight hotties right near,

With little tight bun huggers, so lively and chatty,
I knew in a moment it must be Matty.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:

"Now! Christine, now! Carina, now!  Barb and Prancer ,
"On! Cindy, on! Lisa, on! Jodi and Glamor
"To the top of the hill! and over the wall!
Now run and exercise with me all!"

And his clothes were all shiney from his head to his foot
and bound him so tightly, it showed his root

A bundle of junk was attached to his back,
And he look'd like a pro player working out in the pack:

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin took three days to grow;

He had broad shoulders, no sign of a belly
Still had a butt, like a bowl full of jelly:

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
Until Peachtree Rd Boot Camp corrected himself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke lots of words, but continued to work,
While he cracked on everyone like a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, off the grass he rose.

He sprung to his feet, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all ran, like the down of a thistle:

But I heard him exclaim, ere he ran out of sight —
Happy Christmas you bitches, you wish you were this tight.